Just the Tip – August 30, 2010

Today’s tip is a shopping list of sorts – the top 5 things you never want to purchase together when at the grocery store. That’s right, we’ve compiled a special list of things you should never buy in combination with each other… unless, of course, you want to freak out your local register monkey.

Yum.

5. Snicker bars and needles/razor blades – This one seems obvious, but can get awesome reactions around Halloween time. Just don’t make eye contact to get the ultimate effect. A quick fact – since 1959 there have been only 80 reported cases of sharp objects in candy, and a good 75 percent were hoaxes.

Beano - Nah, Bean-yes!

4. Strawberries, Whip Cream, Condoms and Beano – Beano by itself?  Funny.  Mixed with this combo though and you have the ultimate weekend party in a bag… and one disgusted checkout worker.

3. A gallon of rum, dixie cups and/or baby bottles – A must have for potential parents.

2. KY + Anything = funny. Nothing is more awkward that buying a bottle of KY – that is until you mix a summer sausage or phallic vegetable into the equation.

WANTED

1. Duct tape with any combination of tarp/shovel – Again, lack of eye contact is key to pull this one off.  Just expect to see a sketch of yourself on the locals news the next day.

And remember, Just the Tip!

About Rick Mears

Just a gigolo.

Posted on August 30, 2011, in Just the Tip. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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